Author: nelsonda

Can Therapy Be Held Against You in a Divorce or Custody Case?

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Will mental health treatment or therapy be held against you in a divorce or family law case? There exists a notion that going to counseling, seeking treatment, taking prescribed medication, or receiving psychotherapy may be weaponized against someone in family court. That someone with a mental health or mood disorder diagnosis cannot have custody and placement is a myth. To the contrary, many family law attorneys, guardians ad litem and court officials would recommend proactively engaging in therapeutic or counseling services during the pendency of a divorce or custody battle. So long as one’s condition is not impairing parenting ability, undergoing therapeutic efforts can actually be viewed in a positive light.

 Counseling professionals and therapists can offer an empathetic perspective and a helping hand with the emotional and mental health aspects of family law litigation. At a much lower rate than paying an attorney who is disciplined in legal matters, coaching services can assist you with some of the following:

  • troubleshooting difficult topics and role playing those conversations 
  • mentally preparing for court
  • navigating stresses of separating households and finances
  • offering co-parenting or parallel parenting tips, tricks and strategies
  • giving a listening ear with specific tools to meet your family’s needs
  • brainstorming how to reduce high conflict litigation, how to deal with high conflict former partners, and how to mitigate power and control dynamics
  • providing guidance for parents to foster a nurturing environment for their children to survive the process
  • grieving the loss, developing coping skills to move forward in a healthy and mindful way, successfully making the adjustment and transition for your family

 If you are already involved in therapy or counseling, do not fear any stigma surrounding that decision and make sure to be upfront in disclosing this to your attorney.

As is the case when selecting an attorney to represent you, choosing a professional for counseling services who is compatible with you and competent in the relevant area of focus, is vital to moving forward in a meaningful and positive manner. 

Our attorneys at Nelson, Krueger & Millenbach are here to help and can offer a strategic and empathetic approach to your family law litigation. Visit our website or call us at 414-258-1644 to schedule your free initial consultation to discuss your family law matter.

Unmarried Couples and Ownership of Joint Property

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What happens to your belongings after a break-up if you cannot agree?  Does it matter if the property was titled individually or held jointly? You may accumulate during the course of your relationship various property, such as:

1) Real estate.

2) Vehicles, boats, campers, etc.

3) Bank accounts.

4) Pets. 

5) Tangible and personal effects, like furniture or appliances.

6) Insurance policies.

While it is best to try to resolve division of these assets and property directly with the other party through settlement, there are legal remedies available through the courts if mutual agreements cannot be reached.

For real property and homes, partition actions may be initiated in civil court to require a judicial sale of real estate, or divide the land awarding specific interests to each individual. Similarly with automobiles titled jointly, if the parties cannot agree to transfer ownership or on refinancing terms, courts may order the sale and for the net proceeds to be split between the parties.

Civil relief may be available through small or large claims actions, tort claims, replevin or other recovery actions to recoup monies or property that was wrongfully converted, transferred or disposed of otherwise. Animals and pets are typically treated as tangible property, therefore ownership of the pet cannot be divided, and authority of the courts is limited with respect to enforcing pet custody agreements.

Contract legal theory offers another strategy for parties who may not have been named on deeds, titles or accounts, but contributed to the value of said assets and seek to be made whole following a break-up. Under Wisconsin law, this is commonly referred to as a Watts action. Depending on which legal doctrines apply, the burden of proof may require a finding that there was a joint enterprise, contributions were made by both parties, and it would result in unjust enrichment if one party walked away with all the benefits conferred by the partnership and mutual effort of both parties. Because no contract likely exists, one may argue there were promises made, those promises were reasonably relied on and should be kept.

To avoid confusion at the time of a break-up, consider protecting yourself with written, binding agreements on cohabitation, property use, possession and ownership. Doing this prior to acquiring property, assets and debt is most always recommended, and our firm can assist with drafting agreements relative to your needs. Of course, if you find yourself in a situation where agreements were not reduced to writing, we can also assist with representing you in civil litigation. Contact Nelson, Krueger & Millenbach, LLC at 414-258-1644 to schedule a free initial consultation.

Understanding and Choosing Child Placement Arrangements

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Ensuring your child’s well-being remains your top priority through any difficult time. If you and your co-parent are separating, your children’s placement arrangement is a critical decision and demands careful consideration. There are many different placement arrangements for parents to choose from, and each comes with its own set of benefits and challenges. This article will help you understand the different arrangements that are available.

In Wisconsin, “placement” refers to where the child will live after the divorce, while “custody” refers to the ability to make major decisions about your child, such as medical decisions and decisions about religion and education. While there are two categories of placement, Primary Placement and Shared Placement, Shared Placement can have many different physical arrangements.

Primary Placement: In this arrangement, the child resides with one parent 75% of the time or more, while the other parent has  25% placement or less. Examples of a Primary Placement schedule would be as follows:

  • Every other weekend placement. This is a common arrangement when it is best for the child that one parent care for the child during the school or work week.
  • Reasonable Time, Reasonable Notice placement (RTRN). This arrangement often comes about when one parent is not able to engage in a regular placement schedule due to work commitments or other obligations. RTRN provides that parent to ask the parent with primary placement for time with the child when they are able, and that placement should be permitted by the primary parent unless there is a good reason such placement must be denied. RTRN placement may also be incorporated into existing placement, such as every other weekend placement, to give the non-primary parent the opportunity to have more time with their child.  However, this type of arrangement can only work when the parties can successfully communicate and work together.
  • Shared Placement: This arrangement allows the child to spend substantial time living with both parents. Any time greater than 25%, is considered to be shared placement. Shared placement requires a high level of cooperation and communication between parents to be effective. Shared physical placement is the most common placement arrangement because it allows the child to maintain a strong relationship with both parents.
  • Shared Placement Variations:
  • Week on/Week Off: Just as it sounds, parent have placement one week, and the other parent has the next week. This arrangement can be difficult for young children but can be beneficial when there is high conflict between the parents or for older children This is the least common type of placement schedule.
  • 2-2-3-3 or 2-2-5-5: Under this placement schedule, each parent has two days placement every week and then alternating weekends Friday through Sunday. The week days can either be fixed (Monday/Tuesday or Wednesday/Thursday every week) or they can alternate (Monday/Tuesday one week, Wednesday/Thursday the next week). It works well for school-aged children and can help with -parental conflict because exchanges generally occur at school.
  • 5/9 or 4/10 variations (based on a two-week rotating schedule). These are variations used when one parent’s work schedule or location makes it difficult to have equal shared placement. A parent might have one weeknight every week, and then every other weekend, either Friday through Monday morning – a 5/9 schedule – or Friday through Sunday – a 4/10 schedule. Because this is based on a parent’s availability, other variations are possible.
  • Nesting. A rarer but not uncommon arrangement is nesting, where the child remains in the family home, and the parents take turns living with the child there, according to one of the schedules above. This can provide stability and consistency for the child. However, it can be rather difficult and expensive to maintain because it requires parents to maintain two additional residences for when they are not in the family home.  This is generally only an option on a temporary basis while the divorce is pending.

Split Placement. Split placement is uncommon and can only occur when parents share multiple children. In split placement arrangements, each parent takes more placement of at least one or more of the children, but not all of the children. This arrangement is rare due to the preference of keeping siblings together. However, it might be suitable when it aligns with the children’s needs, for example where a child has a disability that one parent cannot or will not accommodate.

Another form of Placement is Supervised Placement. Sometimes a parent has engaged in behavior, for example, substance abuse, which has resulted in safety concerns for the child. In such cases, a parent may be required to spend time with their children in a supervised setting. The supervision can be provided by an agreed neutral, such as a grandparent, or can be provided by a professional in a setting designed for such visits. Generally, supervised placement is usually meant to be a temporary arrangement while a parent fulfills requirements to demonstrate their fitness.

Final Thoughts on placement. Every family is unique, and the choice of placement arrangements should be tailored to fit your family as well as possible. When parents work collaboratively, they can maximize their time with their children and, hopefully, their children’s well-being. When making these decisions becomes difficult, the guidance of a seasoned family law professional can help navigate these challenging decisions. At Nelson, Krueger, & Millenbach, our goal is to help you ensure that the chosen arrangement fosters a stable, loving, and supportive environment conducive to your child’s growth and happiness.

How Long Does A Divorce Take In Wisconsin?

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Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt recently announced that their divorce has finally concluded after 8 years. Is this typical? In Wisconsin, how long will your divorce take?


It would be virtually impossible in Wisconsin for a divorce to last 8 years, even with complicated issues as described in the Jolie-Pitt matter. The Wisconsin courts keep a close eye on how long a divorce has been pending and typically have a goal of completing a divorce in a year. Many judges will keep track of divorces that have been pending for a long time and will push the case towards paid mediation or a final trial if it has been pending for over a year.


Depending on the county, on average, a Wisconsin divorce takes less than one year to complete. Certain counties with a high volume of cases may have limited court calendar availability, meaning that you may have up to 4 months between one divorce hearing and the next. If your case has been stagnant for a while, meaning that the parties are not moving towards resolution or not cooperating with one another, the Court will set a final trial date to give the case finality, and to promote agreements. Divorces are hard, and some parties do not want to face the reality of a marriage coming to an end. Pushing a case to a final trial can help parties come to an agreement, since they know they have an end date on their marriage.


Of course, every divorce is fact specific, and some complex divorces may take longer to complete in Wisconsin. In Angelina and Brad’s case, they were only married for two years. Typically, short term divorces are quicker and easier, since assets from a short-term marriage are easier to divide. However, in Angelina and Brad’s case, they faced a multitude of complex issues: custody disputes, dividing their French vineyard, valuing international assets, and judges being substituted. Their property, Chateau Miraval, was purchased for 25 million euros in 2008, and was a main point of contention in this divorce. International assets complicate divorces due to time zone changes, language barriers, converting forms of currency, interpreting property valuations, and determining how to retitle property based on each country’s specific laws.


Further, there were significant allegations about Brad’s potential substance abuse and treatment of the children, resulting in a complicated path to a final placement schedule. The parties reached a temporary custody agreement in 2018 which later fell apart. In 2021, after three years of litigating custody and placement, Brad was granted joint custody.


Interestingly, the Court declared that the couple were officially separated in 2019, but did not finalize the divorce on that date. In Wisconsin, you are not legally separated until the final date of divorce or date of legal separation, where all issues need to be decided.


While Angelina and Brad’s divorce took 8 years, you do not have to worry about that being the case in Wisconsin. Even the most complicated divorces can be resolved in far less time here.


Have any questions or need help in your pending divorce? Give Nelson, Krueger & Millenbach a call at (414) 258-1644 to set up a free consultation.

Effective Co-Parent Communication After Divorce

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When parents divorce or break up, communication can be a challenge. But when you have children together, you cannot just choose to ignore your co-parent, no matter how difficult the situation may be. Your ability to continue to communicate effectively with your co-parent will affect your children for good or for ill. Fortunately, you can take steps to make co-parent communication easier and more effective.

If you are on friendly terms with your co-parent, you will likely continue to communicate in the ways you do with other friends and family members – via phone, text, and email. If the relationship with your co-parent is difficult, or if you are prevented from communicating with your co-parent because of a domestic injunction, you will likely communicate with your co-parent with a dedicated phone application. These applications support text, videos, and calendars. They can provide a method for submitting receipts or otherwise tracking shared expenses.


In Wisconsin, the most commonly used app is Our Family Wizard, or OFW, for short. You can give your attorney access to view your OFW communications and the court can view your OFW account on its dashboard. This makes it easier for the court and other professionals involved to understand the problems that co-parents are experiencing. It also provides a measure of accountability to parents, who know that their communications may be viewed by attorneys, judges and guardians ad litem.


No matter what method you chose for communication, make sure you have a communication strategy so that you can prevent or diffuse difficult situations. One great method, developed by Bill Eddy, is call the BIFF method. BIFF stands for Brief, Informative, Friendly, and Firm. Here’s how each component works:

  1. Brief: Keep your response short and to the point. Avoid lengthy explanations or details that could open up more areas for disagreement. This minimizes opportunities for further conflict.
  2. Informative: Include relevant information only. Provide factual content that addresses the primary issue without emotional or judgmental language. Stick to clear information that helps clarify or resolve the matter.
  3. Friendly: Maintain a friendly tone, even if the situation is tense. This helps to defuse hostility and can make the recipient more receptive to your message. A friendly approach can reduce defensiveness.
  4. Firm: Be clear and firm about your message. Avoid giving in to unreasonable demands or making overly conciliatory statements. Respectfully assert your position or boundary without being aggressive.

These principles can help you craft communications that defuse conflict and convey necessary information in a way that minimizes escalation. And that is one of the most valuable things you can do for yourself and for your children.

Drafting An Accurate Financial Disclosure Statement in a Family Case in Wisconsin

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The dreaded (and necessary) Financial Disclosure Statement: most don’t enjoy drafting them, but these documents are critical to any pending family law action in Wisconsin. A Financial Disclosure Statement is the first step in many family law proceedings and is required in any action affecting the family, except in an action to affirm marriage. Pursuant to Wisconsin statutes, the Financial Disclosure Statement or “FDS” must be filed within 90 days after being served with the summons or joint petition starting a family law action.  A FDS is a confidential document which is sealed by the court so that your private, financial information is not accessible to the public. It is also helpful to attach your paystubs or tax returns to your FDS to show the court how you calculated your income and to provide proof of your income.

A FDS is one of the first things you file in a divorce action. In a divorce, parties are required to complete a more detailed FDS than the one required in a post judgment action or paternity matter. In all cases, you must disclose your gross income, including all income sources, such as pensions/retirements in pay status, social security funds, disability pay, public assistance, child support, etc. You must also disclose your monthly tax deductions/net income, and monthly expenses.

In a divorce FDS, you must disclose information of all debts and obligations, vehicles, securities, cash and deposit accounts, children’s custodial accounts, life insurance accounts, retirement interests, other assets, real estate, and all business interests. You must also answer whether you have acquired any property by gift or inheritance, whether you have any property valued at over $500.00 that you owned prior to your marriage, whether you are a party to any other lawsuits, whether you have a claim against anyone, and if you’ve ever filed for bankruptcy. This information is all pertinent to completing your divorce and being transparent with your spouse.

When drafting an FDS, it is important to provide your attorney with statements showing the exact value of all assets and debts. It is critical to have the exact value of these items, and to have proof prepared to show the court or opposing counsel upon request. For example, it would be improper to list the value of your car on your FDS as $10,000 if the true value is $10,302.21.

An FDS should be updated multiple times throughout the court process. It is important to keep the court and your former partner up to date with all changes to your income, assets, and debts. The values of assets and debts change with time, and it is your responsibility to update this information with the court and provide this information to your attorney during the pendency of your court action.

You are required to sign an FDS under penalty of perjury.  Willfully changing the value of a debt or asset on your FDS to a value that you know is untrue will damage your credibility with the court, and the court may order further sanctions against you for lying in a court document.

It is also imperative to list all assets and debts on your FDS, no matter how small, and regardless if you believe it should not be divided in the divorce. If you fail to disclose assets during a divorce, your ex-spouse may file a Motion to Reopen asking the court to revisit the Judgment of Divorce. The Court may also order several consequences for failing to disclose accurately, including contempt of court, monetary penalties, and criminal charges. They may also order that hidden asset be entirely awarded to your ex-spouse due to your failure to disclose.

Do you have any questions on how this process works? We’re here to help. Give us a call at (414) 258-1644 to set up a free consultation to make sure your family law matter is being handled with care.

How Marijuana Use Affects Custody and Placement in Wisconsin

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In Wisconsin, as in many states across the U.S., marijuana use is a complex issue when it comes to child custody and placement. With evolving state laws and shifting public attitudes toward marijuana, it’s crucial for parents to understand how their use of this substance can impact custody and placement decisions. Marijuana remains illegal for recreational and medical use in Wisconsin. Many neighboring states now permit medical and recreational marijuana use. These changes have affected the treatment of this issue when addressing custody and placement disputes.

Legal Status of Marijuana in Wisconsin

As of 2024, THC marijuana use remains illegal in Wisconsin. However, the state has passed laws allowing limited medical use of cannabidiol (CBD) products, a non-psychoactive compound found in marijuana, for certain medical conditions. CBD oil can be purchased throughout Wisconsin. Possession of marijuana for any other reason, even in small amounts, can lead to criminal charges.

This distinction plays a significant role in custody and placement battles, as courts consider both the legal context of marijuana use and the safety of the child. Unlike in states where recreational or medical marijuana use is more broadly legalized, Wisconsin’s courts have historically taken a stricter stance. However, some courts have moved toward treating marijuana use more like alcohol use. That is, some courts will consider the effects of alleged marijuana use on the parent’s ability to care for their child and not necessarily assume that their ability is affected.

The “Best Interests of the Child” Standard and Application to Marijuana Issues

When determining custody and placement arrangements, Wisconsin courts use the “best interests of the child” standard. This standard prioritizes the child’s safety, well-being, and overall welfare above all else. Marijuana use, whether legal or illegal, is scrutinized under this lens.

The court considers factors such as:

– Whether marijuana use occurs in the presence of the child.

– The frequency and extent of marijuana use.

– The impact of marijuana use on the parent’s ability to care for the child.

– The legality of marijuana use (i.e., medical use with a valid prescription vs. recreational or illegal use).

If a parent’s marijuana use impairs their ability to provide a safe and stable environment, it can and will negatively impact their chances of securing custody or placement. Even in cases of CBD oil use, the court may weigh how the substance affects the parent’s functioning and whether it compromises their ability to care for the child.

While marijuana use may be recognized by the court as a negative factor for custody and placement, parents should be warned that courts are wary of parents using the issue to “cry wolf” and falsely portray the other parent as somehow unfit to parent. Courts do not look upon such reports favorably to the reporting parent, and parents should be cautioned before reporting marijuana use as a factor for custody and placement if such use has been historically occurring or even a shared event between the parents in the past.

Marijuana use can significantly impact custody and placement decisions. While the legal landscape surrounding marijuana continues to evolve, courts remain focused on protecting the best interests of the child. Legal advice from a family law attorney familiar with Wisconsin’s specific laws and custody guidelines is essential for navigating these complex issues. If you have any concerns about custody and placement, contact Nelson, Krueger & Millenbach, LLC at (414) 258-1644 to speak with one of our attorneys regarding your specific situation.

 

What to Expect in Mediation

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You’ve been ordered to attend mediation in a custody or placement dispute – so now what?

Why Mediation:

Wisconsin law states that in any family law action matter where custody and/or physical placement is contested, the parties must attend at least one session with a mediator. The court can’t hold a trial or final hearing on custody or placement until after mediation is completed, absent certain exceptions. Wis. Stats. 767.405(8)(a).

Most custody and placement cases require mediation unless there is an agreement between the parties or there are significant safety concerns for the child. The court wants to ensure that the parties have made a good-faith effort to resolve their legal issues before filing any motions, having a guardian ad litem become involved, or asking the court for a hearing.

Most counties have their own mediators who are employed by the county.  These may be social workers who work for the county or they may be private attorneys or other family law professionals, such as social workers or counselors, who are independent contractors paid by the county.

You and the other parent can also agree to employ a private mediator.  This will also satisfy the statutory requirement and allow you to choose your own mediator.  However, it is often more expensive and will be at your own cost.

How To Request Mediation:

Requesting mediation is simple – all you need to do is go to your court’s website and search for the mediation request form. You need to fill out the form with some basic information and state your reasons for requesting mediation.  You can request mediation at any time if there is a good reason to do so. You must then file this request with the court, and the court will order both parties to attend mediation. Or, you can request mediation during a court hearing and the court commissioner or judge can initiate that process on your behalf.

What Happens Once Mediation Is Ordered:

Once mediation is ordered, a court mediator will reach out to both parties to schedule a time to meet. They will also go over how to pay for mediation if there is a fee required.

Each county handles mediation a bit differently. In Milwaukee, Waukesha, and Ozaukee County, the first mediation session is free. (By statute, each county must offer a free session.  Milwaukee County just uses their “information session” as the free session) Sometimes, such as in Milwaukee County, this first session is an evaluation where the mediator determines if the parties are willing to mediate. If both parties are willing to put in a good faith effort to try mediation, the mediator will schedule a substantive mediation session where you will be able to try and resolve your case with a mediator. Each party then needs to pay ½ of the total mediation fee, or $100, directly to the county prior to that second session. In Washington or Waukesha County, there is no initial evaluation session and the first session is where mediated agreements are made.

It is important to pay any required mediation fees on time. If the fee is not paid, the court will cancel mediation and note the reasons why in its report to the court. You do not want to show the court that you are not taking its orders seriously by not attending mediation or paying the fee on time.  The court will also make a negative inference if you attend the mediation information session in Milwaukee and decide not to mediate. 

What Happens During Mediation:

During mediation, the mediator will walk the parties through various issues surrounding custody and placement. They will go over the ground rules for the session and will explain what everything means. They tend to start generally and work towards a more detailed agreement if the parties are close in their positions. They will talk with both parties about why they are making their requests and see if they can compromise on any issues. The mediator may get as specific as discussing other factors affecting the child such as transportation, communication, vacation time, and a holiday schedule. This county-appointed mediator will never discuss child support and is focused on issues of custody and placement. If the parties can agree on some issues but not all issues, they can enter into a partial mediated agreement. The court will then adopt the agreed-upon terms into a court order.

In Conclusion  

Mediation is the best way to arrive at an agreement with your child’s parent,  even if you think your ex-partner is not going to agree on anything. You’d be surprised at what a good mediator can do for your family. It’s not only a court requirement in most cases, but also a much cheaper alternative to litigating the process in court, and can show a lot of goodwill for co-parenting down the line.

Co-Parenting vs. Parallel Parenting: What’s the Difference?

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If you anticipate separating or have separated from the other parent of your child(ren), you may have been told that, post-separation, the two of you are going to have to co-parent. Co-parenting is a model where both parties equally share parenting responsibilities such as going to child-related events, functions, and appointments. Under this model, parents share similar views regarding child rearing and employ similar parenting techniques across the two homes. For example, the parties may agree that they will both use a gentle parenting approach in each of their homes or even enforce the same bedtime. Consistent and effective communication in person or over the phone is required for this parenting model to work and to limit the amount of stress felt by the child(ren).

For high-conflict cases where parents do not share the same parenting views or are unable to speak to one another, co-parenting may seem like an impossible task. Many parents in this situation use the parallel-parenting model as a way to raise their child(ren). Under the parallel-parenting model, parents raise their child(ren) separate from the other parent.  They may not even attend the same child-related events or appointments. Unlike co-parenting where parents share and exercise the same parenting views, parents who parallel-parent take different approaches to parenting in each of their respective homes. For example, where one parent uses a gentle parenting approach to raising the child(ren), the other parent may use a more authoritative approach. Communication between both parents is still needed to ensure the needs of the child(ren) are met. However, parents using this model can limit communication to solely emails, text messages, or a monitored app such as Our Family Wizard to minimize conflict and maintain boundaries.

Regardless of what parenting model is best for your unique situation, the most important thing is that you and the other party keep the child(ren) removed from any parental conflict and continue to love, support, and do what is in your child(ren)’s best interests.

If you are in the process of a separation or divorce, contact Nelson, Krueger & Millenbach, LLC at (414) 258-1644 to speak with one of our attorneys regarding your specific situation.

What is a Vocational Evaluation and When is it Needed?

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In many family law cases, support is a hotly contested issue. When child support or maintenance (alimony) are at issue, many worry whether their former partner is being truthful about their income or what they can earn. For example, your former partner may have a degree that would allow them to earn $80,000 a year but instead, they are choosing to work a lower-paying job or simply stay at home. In that situation, an accurate idea as to their earning capacity is very important, especially because that is a factor the judge considers when making determinations regarding child support and maintenance. Trying to accurately determine your former partner’s income or income potential is not something you can do on your own. Thankfully, there are individuals known as vocational experts (or evaluators) who do the hard work for you.

Vocational experts conduct interviews with your former partner that assess a variety of factors including age, health, education level, prior work history, job skills, and the job market. The vocational expert may review your former partner’s resume during this interview. The information gathered is then summarized and used to formulate recommendations regarding employment opportunities and salary potential. The results are based on objective criteria, meaning your former spouse cannot escape the reality of what they could, or should, be earning. This objective analysis is incredibly helpful to attorney in negotiating child support or maintenance amounts, and for judges who make the final determination.

Whether or not to use a vocational expert, and who to select as the appropriate vocational expert, can be a decision that a family law attorney can help you make based upon the needs of your case. It is possible that your former partner may also want you to submit to a vocational evaluation as well. Depending on the situation, both you and your former partner may be responsible for any costs associated with the vocational evaluation, or just one of you. Should the party who is supposed to obtain a vocational evaluation refuse to do so, a court may order compliance.

If you are interested in or in the process of negotiating child support or maintenance payments, contact Nelson, Krueger & Millenbach, LLC at (414) 258-1644 to speak with one of our attorneys regarding your specific situation. 

When Can I Retire and Stop Paying Maintenance or Alimony?

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If you are currently paying maintenance or alimony to an ex-spouse, a question that is likely on your mind is “when can I retire?”. This is a very simple question that has a very complex answer. 

If your divorce decree has a set date for the termination of maintenance, whether it is at the expiration of 60 months or after the payment of 120 months of maintenance, then the court will expect, absent some extenuating circumstance, you will work through the date of the termination of maintenance payments.  An extenuating circumstance might be, for example, if you experience a medical condition that requires you to stop working or causes you to work less. In these instances, a court might consider this circumstance in modifying or terminating your maintenance.  If the demands of your job change, where working at the same pace becomes difficult, perhaps the court will consider the new requirements in determining whether to modify or terminate maintenance.  It is important to understand that if you have a set time frame for maintenance, you may have a difficult time terminating maintenance or modifying maintenance prior to the expiration set by the court.

If your maintenance obligation is “non-modifiable”, then the court is prohibited from modifying maintenance under any circumstance.  While you could retire during your maintenance obligation, the court will not modify your maintenance due to that retirement and you will have to pay your maintenance obligation with funds other than your employment income.

If your maintenance obligation has no termination date or is “indefinite”, then the question of when you can retire requires more of an analysis.  First, indefinite maintenance does not mean you will be paying maintenance forever.  Indefinite maintenance requires you to make your payments until there is a “substantial change in circumstances.”  Retirement is considered a substantial change in circumstances; however, that is not the end of the analysis.  Retirement is not an automatic trigger for a modification or termination.  In order for the court to grant you relief from maintenance, either by terminating or modifying maintenance due to your retirement, your decision to retire has to be reasonable under all the circumstances.    In determining what is reasonable, the court is going to analyze both parties’ “needs” as well as what is “equitable”.   As you can imagine, this analysis is going to vary greatly from situation to situation.  The court is going to give consideration to the length of time between the divorce and the decision to retire and consideration will be given to your age and your health.  Further, the court is going to analyze both parties’ current lifestyles as well at the time of divorce.  This analysis is extremely fact-driven and requires an attorney who has in-depth knowledge of the recent case law addressing such situations. 

If you are currently in the process of divorce and negotiating maintenance, consideration should be given to your anticipated retirement date.  Planning in advance can alleviate post-judgment litigation and set some expectations for the termination of maintenance based on retirement.

 If you are currently paying maintenance and are considering retirement or in the process of negotiating a maintenance payment contact Nelson, Krueger & Millenbach, LLC at 414-258-1644 to speak with one of our attorneys regarding your specific situation. 

Avoiding the Divorce DUI!

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Divorce is a stressful time for everyone. You go through many major life changes – you may be moving out of your house, divvying up your possessions, dealing with a slew of emotions, and trying to find time to see your kids while juggling your many obligations in life. We don’t all deal with the stress in the best way. Maybe you have a night off from the kids and you want to let off some steam from this divorce at the local bar. That’s got to be harmless, right?


A common issue in divorce cases that family law attorneys know all too well is the dreaded “divorce DUI.” In Wisconsin, a person can receive a “driving under the influence” (DUI) or “operating while intoxicated” (OWI) charge if they have been found to be driving while using alcohol or other drugs. Sometimes people going through divorce may cope with the process by drinking and find themselves criminally charged with driving under the influence or alcohol or substances, which can have severe consequences on their divorce case.


Importantly, any DUIs or OWIs received by an individual in a divorce case will be brought up during child custody and placement negotiations and litigation. Specifically, two of the factors that a court looks at in determining custody and placement are: (1) whether any of the parties have a criminal record; and (2) whether either party has or had a significant problem with alcohol or drug abuse. A DUI/OWI raises issues with both of these factors.


If you do receive a DUI/OWI during your divorce, that does not necessarily mean you will lose all placement time with your kids. The court will balance a variety of factors and look at the severity of your charge, as well as the actions you have taken to recover from that event. The court or your attorney will likely recommend that you engage in alcohol monitoring or testing, and may even suggest that you complete an AODA assessment or therapy to show that you are actively handling your drinking behavior.


Receiving a DUI/OWI during a divorce can also lead to additional financial stress, such as court penalties, fees, attorney fees, and any damages incurred by the DUI/OWI. You may also deal with the stress of attending additional court hearings, simultaneously handling separate family and criminal cases, and damaging family relationships.


Divorce is a hard time and “divorce DUIs” are far too common. Reach out to family and loved ones for support and remember that you are not alone during this time. Counseling and support groups can help tremendously. An experienced family law attorney can help navigate this occurrence and best help rehabilitate the consequences of a divorce DUI/OWI to protect you during your pending family law matter.


We’re also here to help! Call our offices at (414) 258-1644 to schedule a free consultation with an attorney at Nelson, Krueger & Millenbach LLC.

Be a Vault! Protect Confidential Information In Family Law Cases

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Protecting your confidential information should always be a primary concern in life, but especially so in divorce and family law cases. When you are engaged in a pending divorce or paternity pre- or post-judgment case, you will likely be called upon to provide what will seem like an endless list of financial documents. You will need to provide your attorney, opposing party, opposing attorney and the court with wage stubs, tax returns, bank statements, credit card statements, retirement and investment statements, social security reports, and many, many other documents. You may even need to provide medical records and other personal information. Who would want these documents circulating without protection? The answer is: no one!

Wisconsin Statutes require that certain documents which confidential information must be redacted before filing with the court. This means that identifiable information such as social security numbers, account numbers, etc. must be removed before a document can be filed with the court. If you are going to file such a document with this information, you need to ensure that you, your attorney, and the opposing attorney removes this information before filing or penalties can result.

Not only do you have a duty to protect your own confidential information, but you also have to be careful to protect the other party’s confidential information. In a recent Wisconsin Court of Appeals decision, Heidi Black v. Jeffrey Allen Kelly and MidWest Mgmt., Inc., No. 2021AP1239 (Wis. Ct. App. Sept.1, 2022), the court was called upon to decide a unique situation in which protected financial information was inadvertently made public through an opposing party’s employer’s computer system.

In Black v. Kelly and MidWest Mgmt., Inc., Heidi Black’s Financial Disclosure Statement from her divorce case was made available online through her former spouse’s employer’s computer server. Black’s friend discovered that her Financial Disclosure Statement was available online to the public after completing an internet search of Black’s name. Black sued her former spouse, Jeffrey Allen Kelley, and his employer, Mid-West Management, Inc., for making public her Financial Disclosure Statement from her divorce action.

The court in Black v. Kelly and MidWest Mgmt., Inc. found in Kelley’s and Mid-West Management, Inc.’s favor and dismissed Black’s civil case for damages only because there was no evidence that Black’s Financial Disclosure Statement was viewed by anyone besides Black’s friend, Kelley, and Mid-West Management, Inc. when removing the document from public access. Wisconsin law requires a finding of “publicity” of the protected information which is “the matter is made public by communicating it to the public at large, or to so many persons that the matter must be regarded as substantially certain to become one of public knowledge” in order to award damages. See Black v. Kelly and MidWest Mgmt., Inc. Publicity was not proven in this case. The court distinguished “publicity” from “publication” which includes an element “in connection with liability for defamation” when evaluating if damages should be awarded. See Black v. Kelly and MidWest Mgmt., Inc. The Defendants-Respondents in this case hired experts to show that Black’s Financial Disclosure Statement was viewed by limited persons and was not made public communication.

The importance of Black v. Kelly and MidWest Mgmt., Inc. suggests that there could, however, be a civil tort basis should a party’s financial, confidential and/or protected information be made public communication. The Black case and the applicable case law does not require a finding of malice or intention in making the information public in order for damages to be awarded it only needs to be proven that the information was made a communication to the public at large.

What does that mean for you? The answer is clear, you need to be a vault! Protect your soon-to-be ex’s information the same way that you protect your own: with the tightest security and highest level of protection.

If you have questions about a family law action and how to best protect yourself, please contact Nelson, Krueger & Millenbach, LLC at (414) 258-1644 to schedule a free initial consultation to discuss your case.

The Benefit of Hiring a Family Law Attorney

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In times of economic downturn, it can appear that hiring an attorney for your divorce or paternity matter is too expensive of an investment. In the Wisconsin, anybody can file a divorce, paternity, or other family law related matter without an attorney. It is an especially attractive idea when the other parent or party in the action appears to agree with all the issues that may arise in family law related matters. However, things can quickly change in family law cases (which includes divorce, initial paternities, requests to change placement, custody or child support, or requests to change maintenance or alimony, etc.). Hiring an attorney can be an extremely helpful investment in the following circumstances:

  • Attorneys who commonly practice in the family law area are familiar with what Court Commissioners and Judges expect to hear in these cases. For example, if you are requesting a change in placement, the Court will need to understand when the last order regarding placement occurred, and the type of change that may have occurred to show why a change may be in a child’s best interest.
  • Attorneys know what paperwork needs to be filed to effectively use your Court time and ensure that your case is heard. For example, some counties require specific documentation to be filed to get a court date in a divorce proceeding.
  • Attorneys know why certain agreements may be very helpful to avoid returning to court, or may have unintended, negative consequences. For example, if parties agree to divide a 401k in a divorce, certain, specific paperwork is needed to divide the 401k without incurring penalties or incurring avoidable tax consequences to either party.
  • In cases involving domestic violence, having an attorney can ensure appropriate communication, or even avoid the need for a victim to communicate with an abusive partner. Family law attorneys can help navigate restraining orders between parties as well.
  • Attorneys can help educate parties as to what goals can reasonably be accomplished in a Court action and help inform parties as to more resources that may be available to families outside of having a trial in front of a judge. For example, parents may benefit from a therapist’s assistance to help parent better communicate and work together for the benefit of the children. The input from a therapist may be more helpful to these parents than what a Judge may order.
  • Attorneys can be helpful in providing possible solutions that will likely be approved by a Court Commissioner or judge. For example, an attorney knows what factors to look for in determining what a child support order should be and may be able to obtain more information regarding the other parent’s income if that parent is uncooperative. The attorney will also understand how information regarding income and placement time is used to determine an appropriate child support order.
  • Some decisions made during an initial action cannot be changed or are difficult to change, so if you do not have an attorney you might make a mistake that cannot be undone!

These are just a few examples of how hiring an attorney can be very helpful and even necessary in navigating a family law matter. As is often the case in legal matters involving the family, these issues can be very emotional for parties. Attorneys who practice family law understand that these cases can feel overwhelming and even scary because these issues are so important to the parties involved. It is an attorney’s job to offer expertise in the legal process and offer rational advice to their clients. Making well informed decisions can help you avoid coming back to Court in the future and can help parties confidently move forward with their lives. If you feel you could benefit from the advice of an attorney in your family law matter, please call us at (414) 258-1644 to schedule a free initial consultation to discuss your case.

Exchanging Finances with My Ex – Do I Have To?

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There is a new statutory language in Wisconsin which automatically requires parties with minor children to exchange certain financial information regarding income on May 1st of each calendar year.  Pursuant to Wis. Stat. § 767.54, in an action where the court has ordered a party to pay child or family support, both parties must annually exchange tax returns, year end paystubs, a recent paystub and any other documentation regarding income from all sources for the 12 month time period preceding the exchange of information.  Even though this is a standard law and provision that is often incorporated into parties’ Marital Settlement Agreements, paternity rulings, and other family law orders, many individuals do not know about this statute or fail to take steps to enforce it. 

When working with individuals wanting to modify a child support order, our first question is always “Is your ex making more money than they were at the time of the original order?”  Most of the time, the answer is either “I don’t know” or “I know they are making more, but I am not sure how much.”  The new statutory language requiring the exchange of income information would assist in answering this question and gives a party the basis for requesting that information.  You absolutely must provide documentation regarding your finances, especially if specifically requested by the other party, or they may have a basis to pursue a contempt motion against you and you may even be responsible for paying their attorneys’ fees for bringing forth that action.

The reason for this is that the award of child support may change if there is a substantial change in circumstances which is based upon any increases or decreases in a party’s income.  Where one party is awarded primary placement, the other party’s income increases will be of higher importance.  Where there is a shared placement schedule, both parties’ changes in income are equally important. 

Why don’t parties follow this rule?  Many times, parties don’t want to go through the hassle of going back to court or doing the math to calculate a new amount every single year.  Others do not feel comfortable directly asking for the other party’s finances or providing their finances to the other party.  However, child support is considered as a payment not for a party, but for the child during that party’s placement time.  As such, it is important for parties to exchange financial information in this manner to ensure that the child is receiving as much support as needed.

Because many parties do not follow or do not know about this rule, the Child Support Agency often revisits prior child support orders after 33 months have lapsed.  The statutes provides that after 33 months, there is a presumption of a substantial change in circumstances upon which a modification of child support may be based. In that case, the Child Support Agency may file a motion to modify child support at that time.  By requesting financial information every year, you can assess whether there needs to be a change in child support and can get a start on filing your motion sooner, since the court cannot retroactively award child support prior to the date of service of any such motion. If you want to change a child support order, the best way to maximize the support is by filing as soon as you learn of a substantial change in income. Or, if your circumstances have changed to the extent that you can no longer pay the support you have been ordered to pay due to a reduction or loss of income, you should file a motion as soon as that occurs.

Deployed Parents and Children’s Custody and Placement Arrangements in Wisconsin

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As of March 11, 2022, a new law in Wisconsin called the “Uniform Deployed Parents Custody and Visitation Act” expands parents’ ability to delegate custody and placement responsibilities for a child when one parent is deployed in military service. The deploying parent must notify the other parent of the upcoming deployment. A documented exchange of plans outlining how each parent plans to fulfill their custody and placement responsibilities during the deployment is required to be made if the parents do not reside in the same household.

Frequently, the deployed parent requests that his or her placement time be awarded to a third party such as a step-parent or a grandparent.  However, in that event, both parties must agree in a signed, written agreement, to give temporary custody and/or placement responsibilities to a nonparent during a parent’s deployment. The individual who accepts temporary custody or placement must also agree to the specific arrangements in writing. The parents’ agreement should include the frequency and method of contact between the deploying parent and the child or children. If more than two individuals are given legal custody rights, a process to resolve any custodial disputes should be included in the written agreement.

In some situations, parents may not agree as to what, if any, temporary custody or placement arrangements should be made when facing a parent’s deployment. In that situation, the law allows either parent to  file a motion to address the issues of temporary custody and placement during a deployment. It does not matter if there is not an existing family case such as divorce or paternity that addresses custody and placement. A new case may be created with the court to make these temporary orders. It is also possible that temporary child support may be set up during the parent’s absence. In addressing these issues, the court must also make clear that the custody and placement arrangement made for the nonparent is only temporary. A process to end this authority, whether by stipulation from all parties, or the end of the deployment, should also be ordered by the Court.

These new legal changes are intended to provide helpful options to families wherein a parent faces deployment. The Court will certainly be taking into consideration the best interest of the children involved, and hopefully minimize any disruption to the relationship between the children and the deployed parent. If you have questions, or concerns, regarding how this new law may affect you in your family law matter, please call us at (414) 258-1644 to schedule a free initial consultation to discuss your case.

Stipulations or Partial Agreements Entered Before Divorce or Legal Separation Judgments in Wisconsin

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In Wisconsin,  2021 Wisconsin Act 204 has been signed into law which changes how the courts may enter initial orders regarding custody, placement, and child support for minor children, maintenance, property division, or other related matters. This new law is now incorporated into the Wisconsin Statutes as §767.333. Starting March 20, 2022, a Court may approve as a final order (referred to as an “initial” order in the statute) a stipulation, or partial agreement, regarding custody, placement, child support, maintenance, property division or other related agreements before the judgment of divorce, legal separation, or annulment.

This is important because these agreements will be considered final even if there has not been a judgment of divorce, legal separation, or annulment yet granted. This means that the court would then apply post-judgment statutory standards regarding modification of final orders if a party is requesting a change in the order, even though the underlying divorce, legal separation, or annulment may not be final. Depending on the issues that are agreed upon in the stipulation, this statute notes the specific legal requirements  to address post-judgment motions to modify these final orders.

Because of the finality associated with these types of stipulations, the statute requires that before the court enters the stipulation as a final order of the court, there must be a hearing before the court, on the record, where the court confirms that the parties understand the terms of the stipulation, and the Court also ensures that the parties intend for the stipulation to be considered final. It is helpful to note that this hearing must be held with both parties present, either physically present, or attending by phone, video, or electronic means, to enter these stipulations as final orders.

This change in the statute is very important in cases involving custody and placement issues for minor children. Often, parties are unaware that their initial agreements, incorporated into the Judgment of Divorce, Legal Separation, or Annulment, cannot be modified within two years of that judgment unless that party requesting the modification can prove, with substantial evidence, that not making that change to custody or placement would be physically or emotionally harmful to the best interest of the child or children. After two years from that initial judgment, a party requesting a modification must show a substantial change of circumstances since the last order affecting placement or custody. Given these requirements, it is much more difficult to change custody and placement within that two-year timeframe.

For example, if it takes an additional six months for the Court to issue a final judgment of divorce because there were issues that had to be determined in a trial, but the Court entered a stipulation regarding custody and placement as final orders in the middle of the case under the new statute, then as of the date of divorce, the parties would already be six months into that two-year timeframe.

This can also mean that Partial Agreements regarding property division or other financial matters become final and cannot be changed after the court approves that Agreement.  This is sometimes disadvantageous if a divorce is not yet finalized because circumstances can change.  You may or may not want to lock in a financial agreement prior to the final divorce judgment.  In either case, it important to be aware of what the consequences of entering into that Partial Agreement.

Given the change in the law, it is important to understand what you are agreeing to before entering a stipulation, or a Partial Marital Settlement Agreement, in your divorce, legal separation, or annulment matter. It is important to know what such stipulations may mean, if they are final, and what finality means if something changes after entering these stipulations. If you have questions, or concerns, regarding how this new law may affect you in your family law matter, please call Nelson, Krueger & Millenbach, LLC at (414) 258-1644 to schedule a free initial consultation to discuss your case.

The Effect of the 2021 Child Tax Credit and Advance Child Tax Credit Payments and Filing Your 2021 Taxes

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Many parents have legal agreements, such as a Marital Settlement Agreement or Paternity Court Orders, which state that they alternate who claims their child or children’s tax credits each year. What might have made things confusing over the last year is the Economic Impact Payments and the Recovery Rebate Credit for 2021. The IRS determined who received the 2021 advance child tax credit payments based on the information provided by taxpayer’s 2020 tax returns, or their 2019 tax return if the IRS had not processed or received the 2020 return. This may have created confusion if parties alternate claiming their children’s tax credits every other year.

The third Economic Impact Payment was, in fact, an advance payment of the 2021 recovery rebate credit. In some situations, though, an eligible parent may not have received this payment for a qualifying dependent child that the parent is legally entitled to claim on their 2021 tax return. The IRS has offered guidance that confirms that the parent can claim the 2021 recovery rebate credit, regardless of any Economic Impact Payment that the other parent received.

 If a parent received the Economic Impact Payment for a dependent child that they are not legally entitled to claim on their 2021 tax return, they may not be required to pay it back. The IRS has issued information to serve as a guideline for whether the parent who received payments, but was not entitled to claim the dependent child in their 2021 tax return, is entitled to repayment protection. A parent whose 2021 tax return shows a modified adjusted gross income of a maximum of: $60,000 if he/she is married and filing a joint return; $50,000 if filing as head of household; and $40,000 as a single filer or married and filing a separate tax return, will qualify for repayment protection.

However, the payment protection amount will decrease based upon how much more the parent’s modified adjusted gross income is than the thresholds for the total repayment protection. (Outlined in the paragraph, above.) The repayment protection will be completely phased out when that parent’s adjusted gross income on his/her 2021 tax return is: $120,000 or more if married and filing a joint return; $100,000 if filing as head of household; or $80,000 as a single filer or are married and filing a separate return. The IRS expects that most parents who need to repay will do so from their 2021 income tax refund.

Finally, a parent who was eligible to receive advance payments for their child or children, but did not receive these payments, can claim the full amount of the child tax credit for their children that they may legally claim. It does not matter if the other parent received advance child tax credit payments.

The IRS has answered many common questions about the 2021 Child Tax Credit and Advance Child Tax Credit Payments on its website. It may also be helpful to utilize the services of a qualified tax preparer to file your taxes this year, given the rules involving the Advance Child Tax Credit Payments. If you have questions, or concerns, regarding how this may affect your family regarding a divorce, or existing orders regarding child support and other financial issues involving your children, please call us at (414) 258-1644 to schedule a free initial consultation to discuss your case.

Can Third Parties Use A Parent’s Placement Time?

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Stepparents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles are third parties who play pivotal roles in children’s lives – but does that mean that they can exercise placement time?  The short answer is no.  Physical placement is defined in Wisconsin as the time period in which a parent has their child with them under their care.  Since third parties are not parents, they cannot exercise placement or be your substitute during that time, even if they are a third party who is near and dear to your child.

But most of the time, third parties can babysit and spend meaningful time with your child.  So where do the courts draw the line?  Courts want to ensure that when a child is left alone with a third party, it is for no longer than a few hours without one of the parents exercising their placement time.  For example, it is generally acceptable to ask a family member to babysit your child for a few hours, or even a day, during your placement time when you are working.  On the other hand, it is generally unacceptable to leave your child with that same family member for a days or weeks or let them “use your placement time” so that you can go on vacation or move to a different state.  Doing so may be grounds for a petition to enforce placement action or even a modification of placement motion.

The courts provide a remedy for times when a parent isn’t fully exercising their placement and is having someone else exercise placement for them.  Wisconsin statutes provide that a court can modify a physical placement order if it finds that a parent has “repeatedly and unreasonably failed to exercise periods of physical placement.”  This is sometimes called the “use it or lose it” statute.  Not exercising your placement time could be grounds for the other parent to modify a placement schedule in their favor.

 If you are in a situation where a third party is exercising placement time of your child, please give us a call Nelson, Krueger & Millenbach at (414) 258-1644 to schedule a free initial consultation.