If you anticipate separating or have separated from the other parent of your child(ren), you may have been told that, post-separation, the two of you are going to have to co-parent. Co-parenting is a model where both parties equally share parenting responsibilities such as going to child-related events, functions, and appointments. Under this model, parents share similar views regarding child rearing and employ similar parenting techniques across the two homes. For example, the parties may agree that they will both use a gentle parenting approach in each of their homes or even enforce the same bedtime. Consistent and effective communication in person or over the phone is required for this parenting model to work and to limit the amount of stress felt by the child(ren).

For high-conflict cases where parents do not share the same parenting views or are unable to speak to one another, co-parenting may seem like an impossible task. Many parents in this situation use the parallel-parenting model as a way to raise their child(ren). Under the parallel-parenting model, parents raise their child(ren) separate from the other parent.  They may not even attend the same child-related events or appointments. Unlike co-parenting where parents share and exercise the same parenting views, parents who parallel-parent take different approaches to parenting in each of their respective homes. For example, where one parent uses a gentle parenting approach to raising the child(ren), the other parent may use a more authoritative approach. Communication between both parents is still needed to ensure the needs of the child(ren) are met. However, parents using this model can limit communication to solely emails, text messages, or a monitored app such as Our Family Wizard to minimize conflict and maintain boundaries.

Regardless of what parenting model is best for your unique situation, the most important thing is that you and the other party keep the child(ren) removed from any parental conflict and continue to love, support, and do what is in your child(ren)’s best interests.

If you are in the process of a separation or divorce, contact Nelson, Krueger & Millenbach, LLC at (414) 258-1644 to speak with one of our attorneys regarding your specific situation.