divorce mediation

What to Expect in Mediation

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You’ve been ordered to attend mediation in a custody or placement dispute – so now what?

Why Mediation:

Wisconsin law states that in any family law action matter where custody and/or physical placement is contested, the parties must attend at least one session with a mediator. The court can’t hold a trial or final hearing on custody or placement until after mediation is completed, absent certain exceptions. Wis. Stats. 767.405(8)(a).

Most custody and placement cases require mediation unless there is an agreement between the parties or there are significant safety concerns for the child. The court wants to ensure that the parties have made a good-faith effort to resolve their legal issues before filing any motions, having a guardian ad litem become involved, or asking the court for a hearing.

Most counties have their own mediators who are employed by the county.  These may be social workers who work for the county or they may be private attorneys or other family law professionals, such as social workers or counselors, who are independent contractors paid by the county.

You and the other parent can also agree to employ a private mediator.  This will also satisfy the statutory requirement and allow you to choose your own mediator.  However, it is often more expensive and will be at your own cost.

How To Request Mediation:

Requesting mediation is simple – all you need to do is go to your court’s website and search for the mediation request form. You need to fill out the form with some basic information and state your reasons for requesting mediation.  You can request mediation at any time if there is a good reason to do so. You must then file this request with the court, and the court will order both parties to attend mediation. Or, you can request mediation during a court hearing and the court commissioner or judge can initiate that process on your behalf.

What Happens Once Mediation Is Ordered:

Once mediation is ordered, a court mediator will reach out to both parties to schedule a time to meet. They will also go over how to pay for mediation if there is a fee required.

Each county handles mediation a bit differently. In Milwaukee, Waukesha, and Ozaukee County, the first mediation session is free. (By statute, each county must offer a free session.  Milwaukee County just uses their “information session” as the free session) Sometimes, such as in Milwaukee County, this first session is an evaluation where the mediator determines if the parties are willing to mediate. If both parties are willing to put in a good faith effort to try mediation, the mediator will schedule a substantive mediation session where you will be able to try and resolve your case with a mediator. Each party then needs to pay ½ of the total mediation fee, or $100, directly to the county prior to that second session. In Washington or Waukesha County, there is no initial evaluation session and the first session is where mediated agreements are made.

It is important to pay any required mediation fees on time. If the fee is not paid, the court will cancel mediation and note the reasons why in its report to the court. You do not want to show the court that you are not taking its orders seriously by not attending mediation or paying the fee on time.  The court will also make a negative inference if you attend the mediation information session in Milwaukee and decide not to mediate. 

What Happens During Mediation:

During mediation, the mediator will walk the parties through various issues surrounding custody and placement. They will go over the ground rules for the session and will explain what everything means. They tend to start generally and work towards a more detailed agreement if the parties are close in their positions. They will talk with both parties about why they are making their requests and see if they can compromise on any issues. The mediator may get as specific as discussing other factors affecting the child such as transportation, communication, vacation time, and a holiday schedule. This county-appointed mediator will never discuss child support and is focused on issues of custody and placement. If the parties can agree on some issues but not all issues, they can enter into a partial mediated agreement. The court will then adopt the agreed-upon terms into a court order.

In Conclusion  

Mediation is the best way to arrive at an agreement with your child’s parent,  even if you think your ex-partner is not going to agree on anything. You’d be surprised at what a good mediator can do for your family. It’s not only a court requirement in most cases, but also a much cheaper alternative to litigating the process in court, and can show a lot of goodwill for co-parenting down the line.

Divorce Mediation: What is it and is it right for you?

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The idea of mediation in a divorce context can be confusing. In a divorce case, there are two types of mediation. The first type of mediation is when parties have exhausted all forms of negotiation and hire a neutral mediator to assist with reaching an agreement to resolve issues in a divorce case. The second type of mediation is when parties hire a mediator to assist them with the entire process of the divorce by being involved from the very beginning including assisting them in filing, negotiating a settlement, and drafting documents to be filed with the court on behalf of both parties.  This is commonly referred to as a “mediated divorce.”

It is important that people understand the difference between the two types of mediation when contemplating divorce and whether or not involving a divorce mediator is appropriate in a given case. For purposes of this article we will focus on the second type of mediation which is mediated divorce.

Recently, many family law firms are trying to capitalize on the 2017 law change which allows attorney mediators to draft and file documents with the courts on behalf of a divorcing couple.  Prior to the law passing in 2017, a mediator could work with couples in a neutral capacity to help them reach an agreement, but a mediator could not draft documents or file documents with the court for them.   Since the law changed, couples can now hire one lawyer to draft necessary pleadings, file them with the court and work with them in a neutral capacity to reach an agreement resolving issues in their divorce case.  The idea of wrapping your divorce up in a neat package where only one attorney is needed sounds immensely appealing.  And, in many cases, a mediated divorce can work for couples.  However, we have seen a substantial upswing in clients who start the process of mediation too early resulting in a failure of that process.  They are uninformed because the mediator failed to require full financial disclosure or failed to draft Financial Disclosure Statements prior to starting the process of trying to reach an agreement.  So, how do you know if divorce mediation is right for you?

Understand what mediation is and what a mediator can and cannot do for you.

A divorce mediator is neutral and does not take a position for or against either party or give legal advice to either party.  As a neutral, a mediator can inform you of the law and provide calculations for support, property division, and other divorce related issues.  A mediator can draft legal pleadings and file those forms with the court.   As a neutral, the mediator works with the couple to help them reach an agreement. With the new mediation rules in family cases, a divorce mediator can also draft and file the legal pleadings with the court making it easier for a divorcing couple to navigate the court procedures.

But what happens if you have questions about whether the settlement agreement is a good agreement for you and your situation?  What if you have questions about how the law applies to you alone and not the couple?

A divorce mediator cannot give you legal advice.  Therefore, all those questions will remain unanswered because if the mediator were to answer them, he or she would be providing legal advice.

What if the agreement is not fair?  How will you know?

Simply speaking, you won’t.  The mediator is not able to advocate for either party.  Therefore, absent having your own attorney, you will never know whether the agreement is fair to you or, quite frankly, could be better.  Any suggestion by the mediator in this regard would be considered advocating and is forbidden.

Consider whether mediation is appropriate for you.

The goal of mediation is to facilitate a resolution of issues and a stipulated agreement, but how do you know if you can reach an agreement before you know what all the potential options are?  Many times we see a client who thinks they have an agreement but as the mediator discusses different aspects of the process (i.e. placement schedules, custodial decisions, child support, tax deduction, maintenance and property divisions), more and more questions arise.  Without the benefit of legal counsel to advise you, it is truly impossible to know if you have a fair and equitable agreement.  If you have any questions, hesitations or concerns, it is imperative to speak to a lawyer before embarking on the mediation process or making any final decision in mediation. Even if you decide to hire a divorce mediator, you are still free to hire your own attorney to review your divorce agreement and discuss settlement ideas. Your divorce mediator should always support a party’s legal right to consult with or hire an attorney.

Research your mediator.

When the law changed in 2017, many law firms saw this as an opportunity to simply generate additional revenue for their firm.  The tag line of an “easy” and “flat rate” divorce or mediation sounds appealing and draws the attention of many savvy consumers.  However, mediators need to be experienced and properly trained.  Simply because a law firm advertises “mediation” does not mean that the attorneys have the experience or training to successfully help you.  The process to become a mediator requires hours of training and years of experience.  Commencing the mediation process with the wrong mediator will all but guarantee that your experience will only be more stressful and expensive.  When interviewing mediators, you should ask if they have taken the requisite 40 hour training program.  Inquire as to the number of mediations they have conducted. Inquire about a mediator’s experience and years in practice.

Beware of motivations.

Very frequently, we hear that one spouse is pushing the other spouse heavily towards mediation.  We have heard clients tell us that their spouse has threatened them that if they don’t do mediation and/or if they do hire attorney, they will not agree to certain things, it will cost them thousands of extra dollars or “it will be war.”  This is typically because that spouse has the most to lose – for example, by having to pay child support or maintenance.  Threats and bullying are never a good start to a divorce, no matter what process you decide to use.  Keep in mind that your soon to be ex-spouse is not looking out for you.  And, a mediator cannot protect you in that situation like an attorney can by giving you sound advice.  At a minimum, you should consult with an experienced divorce attorney prior to entering into the mediation process so you have realistic expectations and knowledge of what you could be entitled to under the law.  This will help you reach the best agreement for you and your children in addition to feeling comfortable when making that final decision.

Mediation with the right mediator can work!

When it comes to mediation to resolve an issue when there is an impasse in a case, mediation as first described above is an excellent option too.

In the right circumstances and for the right reasons, mediation is an effective tool to avoid litigation and ensure that both parties are satisfied with the result.  There are very good attorneys and retired judges who are mediating that are experienced and charge reasonable rates.  In these situations, you will likely be completely comfortable and satisfied with the process and the results.  If you have any reservations, however, make sure you at least consult with an attorney as stated above.

Further, mediation is the preferred method of resolving disputes even when attorneys are involved.  Experienced divorce lawyers will often reach out to mediators to help resolve a case prior to engaging in litigation.  These mediators are either retired judges or attorneys who have been practicing for more than 20 years.  The cost to hiring a mediator too early and without the advice of attorney may result in increased legal fees, but more importantly, can have a long term negative impact on you or,  more importantly,  your children.

Attorney Alison H.S. Krueger at Nelson, Krueger & Millenbach, LLC is a well-respected and trained mediator.  Her primary experience is as a practicing divorce attorney, but she also engages in the mediation process where she deems it will be the most helpful.  She also charges a reasonable hourly rate given her years of experience in this field.  If you are interested in this process, please call us at 414-258-1644 to schedule a free consultation to discuss same.

 

What Are The Benefits Of Divorce Mediation?

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Going through divorce can be a complicated, stressful, and costly process. Some couples, however, choose to work with a third-party neutral to help resolve disputes, alleviate stress, and reduce the expense of court litigation. This process is called divorce mediation. Many couples who choose to resolve their divorce differences through divorce mediation find the process to be empowering. Divorce mediation is an alternative form of dispute resolution that allows divorcing spouses to retain a strong voice in the outcome of their divorce settlement by agreeing in advance to attempt to resolve all issues in their divorce outside of court and with the assistance of a neutral divorce mediator.

Potential issues that may be resolved through divorce mediation are not confined to a specific area. A qualified, certified neutral divorce mediator can guide couples toward resolving complex issues related to:

  • Property division, including real estate, retirement accounts, other assets, and debts
  • Child custody and placement
  • Child support
  • Spousal maintenance
  • All other divorce related topics

The mediator in a divorce acts as a third-party neutral who works to facilitate discussions to resolve disputes involving any aspect of the divorce. Moreover, an experienced family law practitioner who is a certified divorce mediator and serves as a neutral in the case who can provide the parties with knowledgeable education and guidance concerning all of the available options to resolve a particular issue. This educational prong of the mediation process can help the parties to explore personalized solutions that best serve their individual goals and needs, rather than focusing on an all or nothing fight in court. It is important to understand that the mediator does not act as judge, seeking to impose a final decision to resolve disputes, nor can the divorce mediator provide legal advice. The mediator is a neutral in the case who works to facilitate reasoned discussions between the parties to arrive at workable and mutually satisfying solutions to disputes.

As of 2018, under Wisconsin law, your divorce mediator may now draft all of the documents to memorialize the final mediated settlement and the pleadings necessary in your divorce case.  In other words, from start to finish, a divorce mediator can assist you with facilitating your divorce through the court system. While the mediator does not represent either side, in preparing the legal paperwork, your divorce mediator can give you peace of mind that the documents are complete and follow Wisconsin law to reduce the potential for additional disputes down the road.

Avoiding litigation may reduce stress and higher costs of divorce

Mediation provides a range of important benefits that are not achieved through a long battle in court, such as:

  • More control over the outcome of the divorce
  • Reduced costs from the absence of litigation
  • Reduced stress through the elimination of litigation and contested hearings
  • A concurrent positive experience for the children of divorcing parents

Attorney Alison Krueger of Nelson, Krueger & Millenbach, LLC is a Certified Divorce Mediator. She can educate you and your spouse about the options to resolve your divorce disputes and the legal process to be divorced. Moreover, after you and your spouse have reached a settlement through mediation, Attorney Krueger can draft all of the documents to memorialize the final mediated settlement and the necessary legal documents to begin and end your divorce action through the court system. Properly prepared  legal paperwork with the assistance of a certified divorce mediator can give you peace of mind that the documents are complete and follow Wisconsin law to reduce the potential for additional disputes down the road. Moreover, Attorney Krueger can help you and your spouse prepare for court where a judge will finalize your divorce. This education on the process can help you to move forward with knowledge of what to expect, alleviating the stress of the unknown.

 

Mediation in a Divorce

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What is mediation?      

Mediation is a non-binding process that allows parties to be more in control of the decisions made during your divorce.  They sit down with a “neutral” person (the mediator) to discuss and, hopefully, resolve any outstanding issues.  If the parties have attorneys, their attorneys are usually involved in this process as well; except in Wisconsin, attorneys are not usually involved in custody and placement mediation.

Since mediation is a non-binding process, decisions cannot be imposed on the parties, as they can and will be by the judge in a court trial.  In mediation, decisions are only made if the parties voluntarily agree to them.

How do you choose a mediator?

The parties can engage in private mediation which is typically conducted by an attorney or former judge who is trained and experienced in the mediation process.  The parties can agree to a mediator or the court can appoint someone.

What does a mediator do?

It is the mediator’s job to facilitate communication, discuss possible proposals with the parties, explain what the court will likely do regarding certain issues, re-focus the parties if they get off track, and ultimately attempt to resolve the outstanding issues.

How does mediation work?

There are two main types of mediation: facilitative mediation and evaluative mediation.  The kind of mediation you choose determines how your mediation will work.

Facilitative mediation is where the mediator encourages and provides a respectful place for communication between the parties.  The mediator works to help each party consider and understand the other party’s position.  The mediator then assists the parties in coming together to reach a compromise and agreement that is acceptable to both of them.

Evaluative mediation is where the mediator reviews each party’s side and position prior to the mediation and provides an assessment of the issues along with possible reasonable compromises to resolve the matter.  This type of mediation is often conducted by a former judge or court commissioner which can be very helpful. Again, since this is a non-binding process, the parties are free to accept or reject the proposed settlement.

The parties and the mediator usually meet at mutually agreed upon or neutral site (the mediator’s office, if they have one, or the office of one of the attorneys).  Mediation can be conducted with all parties in the same room or the parties can split into different rooms and the mediator goes back and forth between them (called caucusing).  This would depend on the requests of the parties or the determination of the mediator as to what would work best given the circumstances in that particular case.

What topics will be covered during mediation?

This depends the issues unresolved in your particular case.  The parties can also decide on which issues to focus on in mediation. The topics covered during mediation include, but are not limited to: distribution of property (assets/liabilities), division of personal property (such as furniture and other household items), child custody and physical placement of the children, child support, maintenance (spousal support).

When can you request mediation during a divorce process?

It is important to know that mediation can be used at any stage of a divorce process.  Parties can use mediation as a first step when the parties have outlined the issues to be discussed. Most often, though, parties engage in mediation towards the end of a case as an alternative to trial to resolve any remaining issues that still exist after negotiation and compromise have failed. At this stage, mediation is frequently ordered by the Court. And, although uncommon, parties can even choose to interrupt litigation to explore the possibility of settlement (if permission is so granted by the presiding judge).

What happens if mediation works?

If mediation works, then the drafting attorney (typically the petitioner’s attorney) will add the agreements into your Marital Settlement Agreement and have the parties sign their approval.  When the outstanding issues in a divorce are all resolved prior to trial, the parties need only appear in court for a “Stipulated Divorce Hearing.”  This is a quick hearing where the Judge finalizes the divorce by asking (his/herself or by the party’s attorney) a series of questions to ensure that the agreement is fair, reasonable, and acceptable to both parties.

What happens if mediation doesn’t work?

Typically mediation is unsuccessful because of one or both parties’ inability and unwillingness to cooperate to try to resolve the outstanding issues.  However, in some cases a party may act in bad faith or not disclose or admit key facts that are crucial to resolving issues which can make mediation appropriately unsuccessful.  If mediation is unsuccessful, the parties will then have to prepare for trial or attempt to resolve the outstanding issues with the help of their attorneys.  It is important to note, the fact that mediation was unsuccessful will be relayed to the Judge at trial, however the details of your mediation will not be exposed.

What are the benefits of mediation?

  1. Confidential: Since mediation is confidential, it promotes open communication between the parties without the fear of it being used against you in court.  Of course, this is not a reason to be disrespectful to the other party (as the mediator will often choose to end hostile mediations); however, it does allow the parties to truly express what they hope to achieve as an ultimate result in their divorce.
  1. Control: The advantage of mediation in a divorce is that it allows you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse more control in the outcome. During mediation, the parties are encouraged to participate and communicate what they hope to accomplish with each other.  The goal is that the parties are able to work together to make the best decision for their family. Whether it is just for a couple and involves only real and personal property, or whether it involves children as well, the parties are the best people to make decisions about their lives.
  1. Cost-effective: While there is a cost associated with mediation, it is almost always more cost effective than a trial on the unresolved issues.  Though there is preparation involved for mediation, it is not typically to the extent of trial.  One example where parties can save costs are in witness preparation and fees.  Even if there are no witnesses to prepare, preparing a client to appear on the stand during a divorce trial takes time and costs the client money.
  1. Time efficient: Mediations are often scheduled well before a trial is scheduled on a matter.  This allows the parties to have finality much sooner than they may have if they waited for a Judge to decide the issues.

What are the downfalls of mediation?

For many of the same reasons that mediation is beneficial, it can also be frustrating.  Bad behavior during mediation cannot be disclosed at the time of trial because of the confidentiality.   As stated above, in cases where the other party is acting in bad faith and being deceitful, mediation is not likely appropriate and not likely to result in resolution.  Also, if mediation is unsuccessful, the parties have then spent additional money they could have used towards trial costs.

As you are going through a divorce it is important to explore all of the options available to you in order to resolve your case, including mediation.  The attorneys at our firm have experience in participating in mediation and are able to determine if and when mediation is appropriate in a specific case.  If you are looking for a divorce attorney who will consider mediation and help navigate you through your divorce, please call Nelson, Krueger & Millenbach, LLC at 414-258-1644 or visit our website at www.nkmfamilylaw.com.