Year: 2023

Co-Parenting vs. Parallel Parenting: What’s the Difference?

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If you anticipate separating or have separated from the other parent of your child(ren), you may have been told that, post-separation, the two of you are going to have to co-parent. Co-parenting is a model where both parties equally share parenting responsibilities such as going to child-related events, functions, and appointments. Under this model, parents share similar views regarding child rearing and employ similar parenting techniques across the two homes. For example, the parties may agree that they will both use a gentle parenting approach in each of their homes or even enforce the same bedtime. Consistent and effective communication in person or over the phone is required for this parenting model to work and to limit the amount of stress felt by the child(ren).

For high-conflict cases where parents do not share the same parenting views or are unable to speak to one another, co-parenting may seem like an impossible task. Many parents in this situation use the parallel-parenting model as a way to raise their child(ren). Under the parallel-parenting model, parents raise their child(ren) separate from the other parent.  They may not even attend the same child-related events or appointments. Unlike co-parenting where parents share and exercise the same parenting views, parents who parallel-parent take different approaches to parenting in each of their respective homes. For example, where one parent uses a gentle parenting approach to raising the child(ren), the other parent may use a more authoritative approach. Communication between both parents is still needed to ensure the needs of the child(ren) are met. However, parents using this model can limit communication to solely emails, text messages, or a monitored app such as Our Family Wizard to minimize conflict and maintain boundaries.

Regardless of what parenting model is best for your unique situation, the most important thing is that you and the other party keep the child(ren) removed from any parental conflict and continue to love, support, and do what is in your child(ren)’s best interests.

If you are in the process of a separation or divorce, contact Nelson, Krueger & Millenbach, LLC at (414) 258-1644 to speak with one of our attorneys regarding your specific situation.

What is a Vocational Evaluation and When is it Needed?

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In many family law cases, support is a hotly contested issue. When child support or maintenance (alimony) are at issue, many worry whether their former partner is being truthful about their income or what they can earn. For example, your former partner may have a degree that would allow them to earn $80,000 a year but instead, they are choosing to work a lower-paying job or simply stay at home. In that situation, an accurate idea as to their earning capacity is very important, especially because that is a factor the judge considers when making determinations regarding child support and maintenance. Trying to accurately determine your former partner’s income or income potential is not something you can do on your own. Thankfully, there are individuals known as vocational experts (or evaluators) who do the hard work for you.

Vocational experts conduct interviews with your former partner that assess a variety of factors including age, health, education level, prior work history, job skills, and the job market. The vocational expert may review your former partner’s resume during this interview. The information gathered is then summarized and used to formulate recommendations regarding employment opportunities and salary potential. The results are based on objective criteria, meaning your former spouse cannot escape the reality of what they could, or should, be earning. This objective analysis is incredibly helpful to attorney in negotiating child support or maintenance amounts, and for judges who make the final determination.

Whether or not to use a vocational expert, and who to select as the appropriate vocational expert, can be a decision that a family law attorney can help you make based upon the needs of your case. It is possible that your former partner may also want you to submit to a vocational evaluation as well. Depending on the situation, both you and your former partner may be responsible for any costs associated with the vocational evaluation, or just one of you. Should the party who is supposed to obtain a vocational evaluation refuse to do so, a court may order compliance.

If you are interested in or in the process of negotiating child support or maintenance payments, contact Nelson, Krueger & Millenbach, LLC at (414) 258-1644 to speak with one of our attorneys regarding your specific situation. 

When Can I Retire and Stop Paying Maintenance or Alimony?

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If you are currently paying maintenance or alimony to an ex-spouse, a question that is likely on your mind is “when can I retire?”. This is a very simple question that has a very complex answer. 

If your divorce decree has a set date for the termination of maintenance, whether it is at the expiration of 60 months or after the payment of 120 months of maintenance, then the court will expect, absent some extenuating circumstance, you will work through the date of the termination of maintenance payments.  An extenuating circumstance might be, for example, if you experience a medical condition that requires you to stop working or causes you to work less. In these instances, a court might consider this circumstance in modifying or terminating your maintenance.  If the demands of your job change, where working at the same pace becomes difficult, perhaps the court will consider the new requirements in determining whether to modify or terminate maintenance.  It is important to understand that if you have a set time frame for maintenance, you may have a difficult time terminating maintenance or modifying maintenance prior to the expiration set by the court.

If your maintenance obligation is “non-modifiable”, then the court is prohibited from modifying maintenance under any circumstance.  While you could retire during your maintenance obligation, the court will not modify your maintenance due to that retirement and you will have to pay your maintenance obligation with funds other than your employment income.

If your maintenance obligation has no termination date or is “indefinite”, then the question of when you can retire requires more of an analysis.  First, indefinite maintenance does not mean you will be paying maintenance forever.  Indefinite maintenance requires you to make your payments until there is a “substantial change in circumstances.”  Retirement is considered a substantial change in circumstances; however, that is not the end of the analysis.  Retirement is not an automatic trigger for a modification or termination.  In order for the court to grant you relief from maintenance, either by terminating or modifying maintenance due to your retirement, your decision to retire has to be reasonable under all the circumstances.    In determining what is reasonable, the court is going to analyze both parties’ “needs” as well as what is “equitable”.   As you can imagine, this analysis is going to vary greatly from situation to situation.  The court is going to give consideration to the length of time between the divorce and the decision to retire and consideration will be given to your age and your health.  Further, the court is going to analyze both parties’ current lifestyles as well at the time of divorce.  This analysis is extremely fact-driven and requires an attorney who has in-depth knowledge of the recent case law addressing such situations. 

If you are currently in the process of divorce and negotiating maintenance, consideration should be given to your anticipated retirement date.  Planning in advance can alleviate post-judgment litigation and set some expectations for the termination of maintenance based on retirement.

 If you are currently paying maintenance and are considering retirement or in the process of negotiating a maintenance payment contact Nelson, Krueger & Millenbach, LLC at 414-258-1644 to speak with one of our attorneys regarding your specific situation. 

Avoiding the Divorce DUI!

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Divorce is a stressful time for everyone. You go through many major life changes – you may be moving out of your house, divvying up your possessions, dealing with a slew of emotions, and trying to find time to see your kids while juggling your many obligations in life. We don’t all deal with the stress in the best way. Maybe you have a night off from the kids and you want to let off some steam from this divorce at the local bar. That’s got to be harmless, right?


A common issue in divorce cases that family law attorneys know all too well is the dreaded “divorce DUI.” In Wisconsin, a person can receive a “driving under the influence” (DUI) or “operating while intoxicated” (OWI) charge if they have been found to be driving while using alcohol or other drugs. Sometimes people going through divorce may cope with the process by drinking and find themselves criminally charged with driving under the influence or alcohol or substances, which can have severe consequences on their divorce case.


Importantly, any DUIs or OWIs received by an individual in a divorce case will be brought up during child custody and placement negotiations and litigation. Specifically, two of the factors that a court looks at in determining custody and placement are: (1) whether any of the parties have a criminal record; and (2) whether either party has or had a significant problem with alcohol or drug abuse. A DUI/OWI raises issues with both of these factors.


If you do receive a DUI/OWI during your divorce, that does not necessarily mean you will lose all placement time with your kids. The court will balance a variety of factors and look at the severity of your charge, as well as the actions you have taken to recover from that event. The court or your attorney will likely recommend that you engage in alcohol monitoring or testing, and may even suggest that you complete an AODA assessment or therapy to show that you are actively handling your drinking behavior.


Receiving a DUI/OWI during a divorce can also lead to additional financial stress, such as court penalties, fees, attorney fees, and any damages incurred by the DUI/OWI. You may also deal with the stress of attending additional court hearings, simultaneously handling separate family and criminal cases, and damaging family relationships.


Divorce is a hard time and “divorce DUIs” are far too common. Reach out to family and loved ones for support and remember that you are not alone during this time. Counseling and support groups can help tremendously. An experienced family law attorney can help navigate this occurrence and best help rehabilitate the consequences of a divorce DUI/OWI to protect you during your pending family law matter.


We’re also here to help! Call our offices at (414) 258-1644 to schedule a free consultation with an attorney at Nelson, Krueger & Millenbach LLC.

Be a Vault! Protect Confidential Information In Family Law Cases

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Protecting your confidential information should always be a primary concern in life, but especially so in divorce and family law cases. When you are engaged in a pending divorce or paternity pre- or post-judgment case, you will likely be called upon to provide what will seem like an endless list of financial documents. You will need to provide your attorney, opposing party, opposing attorney and the court with wage stubs, tax returns, bank statements, credit card statements, retirement and investment statements, social security reports, and many, many other documents. You may even need to provide medical records and other personal information. Who would want these documents circulating without protection? The answer is: no one!

Wisconsin Statutes require that certain documents which confidential information must be redacted before filing with the court. This means that identifiable information such as social security numbers, account numbers, etc. must be removed before a document can be filed with the court. If you are going to file such a document with this information, you need to ensure that you, your attorney, and the opposing attorney removes this information before filing or penalties can result.

Not only do you have a duty to protect your own confidential information, but you also have to be careful to protect the other party’s confidential information. In a recent Wisconsin Court of Appeals decision, Heidi Black v. Jeffrey Allen Kelly and MidWest Mgmt., Inc., No. 2021AP1239 (Wis. Ct. App. Sept.1, 2022), the court was called upon to decide a unique situation in which protected financial information was inadvertently made public through an opposing party’s employer’s computer system.

In Black v. Kelly and MidWest Mgmt., Inc., Heidi Black’s Financial Disclosure Statement from her divorce case was made available online through her former spouse’s employer’s computer server. Black’s friend discovered that her Financial Disclosure Statement was available online to the public after completing an internet search of Black’s name. Black sued her former spouse, Jeffrey Allen Kelley, and his employer, Mid-West Management, Inc., for making public her Financial Disclosure Statement from her divorce action.

The court in Black v. Kelly and MidWest Mgmt., Inc. found in Kelley’s and Mid-West Management, Inc.’s favor and dismissed Black’s civil case for damages only because there was no evidence that Black’s Financial Disclosure Statement was viewed by anyone besides Black’s friend, Kelley, and Mid-West Management, Inc. when removing the document from public access. Wisconsin law requires a finding of “publicity” of the protected information which is “the matter is made public by communicating it to the public at large, or to so many persons that the matter must be regarded as substantially certain to become one of public knowledge” in order to award damages. See Black v. Kelly and MidWest Mgmt., Inc. Publicity was not proven in this case. The court distinguished “publicity” from “publication” which includes an element “in connection with liability for defamation” when evaluating if damages should be awarded. See Black v. Kelly and MidWest Mgmt., Inc. The Defendants-Respondents in this case hired experts to show that Black’s Financial Disclosure Statement was viewed by limited persons and was not made public communication.

The importance of Black v. Kelly and MidWest Mgmt., Inc. suggests that there could, however, be a civil tort basis should a party’s financial, confidential and/or protected information be made public communication. The Black case and the applicable case law does not require a finding of malice or intention in making the information public in order for damages to be awarded it only needs to be proven that the information was made a communication to the public at large.

What does that mean for you? The answer is clear, you need to be a vault! Protect your soon-to-be ex’s information the same way that you protect your own: with the tightest security and highest level of protection.

If you have questions about a family law action and how to best protect yourself, please contact Nelson, Krueger & Millenbach, LLC at (414) 258-1644 to schedule a free initial consultation to discuss your case.