Year: 2025

Can Therapy Be Held Against You in a Divorce or Custody Case?

nelsonda Custody and Placement, General Divorce, Paternity , , , , , , ,

Will mental health treatment or therapy be held against you in a divorce or family law case? There exists a notion that going to counseling, seeking treatment, taking prescribed medication, or receiving psychotherapy may be weaponized against someone in family court. That someone with a mental health or mood disorder diagnosis cannot have custody and placement is a myth. To the contrary, many family law attorneys, guardians ad litem and court officials would recommend proactively engaging in therapeutic or counseling services during the pendency of a divorce or custody battle. So long as one’s condition is not impairing parenting ability, undergoing therapeutic efforts can actually be viewed in a positive light.

 Counseling professionals and therapists can offer an empathetic perspective and a helping hand with the emotional and mental health aspects of family law litigation. At a much lower rate than paying an attorney who is disciplined in legal matters, coaching services can assist you with some of the following:

  • troubleshooting difficult topics and role playing those conversations 
  • mentally preparing for court
  • navigating stresses of separating households and finances
  • offering co-parenting or parallel parenting tips, tricks and strategies
  • giving a listening ear with specific tools to meet your family’s needs
  • brainstorming how to reduce high conflict litigation, how to deal with high conflict former partners, and how to mitigate power and control dynamics
  • providing guidance for parents to foster a nurturing environment for their children to survive the process
  • grieving the loss, developing coping skills to move forward in a healthy and mindful way, successfully making the adjustment and transition for your family

 If you are already involved in therapy or counseling, do not fear any stigma surrounding that decision and make sure to be upfront in disclosing this to your attorney.

As is the case when selecting an attorney to represent you, choosing a professional for counseling services who is compatible with you and competent in the relevant area of focus, is vital to moving forward in a meaningful and positive manner. 

Our attorneys at Nelson, Krueger & Millenbach are here to help and can offer a strategic and empathetic approach to your family law litigation. Visit our website or call us at 414-258-1644 to schedule your free initial consultation to discuss your family law matter.

Unmarried Couples and Ownership of Joint Property

nelsonda Property Division, Unmarried couples , , , , ,

What happens to your belongings after a break-up if you cannot agree?  Does it matter if the property was titled individually or held jointly? You may accumulate during the course of your relationship various property, such as:

1) Real estate.

2) Vehicles, boats, campers, etc.

3) Bank accounts.

4) Pets. 

5) Tangible and personal effects, like furniture or appliances.

6) Insurance policies.

While it is best to try to resolve division of these assets and property directly with the other party through settlement, there are legal remedies available through the courts if mutual agreements cannot be reached.

For real property and homes, partition actions may be initiated in civil court to require a judicial sale of real estate, or divide the land awarding specific interests to each individual. Similarly with automobiles titled jointly, if the parties cannot agree to transfer ownership or on refinancing terms, courts may order the sale and for the net proceeds to be split between the parties.

Civil relief may be available through small or large claims actions, tort claims, replevin or other recovery actions to recoup monies or property that was wrongfully converted, transferred or disposed of otherwise. Animals and pets are typically treated as tangible property, therefore ownership of the pet cannot be divided, and authority of the courts is limited with respect to enforcing pet custody agreements.

Contract legal theory offers another strategy for parties who may not have been named on deeds, titles or accounts, but contributed to the value of said assets and seek to be made whole following a break-up. Under Wisconsin law, this is commonly referred to as a Watts action. Depending on which legal doctrines apply, the burden of proof may require a finding that there was a joint enterprise, contributions were made by both parties, and it would result in unjust enrichment if one party walked away with all the benefits conferred by the partnership and mutual effort of both parties. Because no contract likely exists, one may argue there were promises made, those promises were reasonably relied on and should be kept.

To avoid confusion at the time of a break-up, consider protecting yourself with written, binding agreements on cohabitation, property use, possession and ownership. Doing this prior to acquiring property, assets and debt is most always recommended, and our firm can assist with drafting agreements relative to your needs. Of course, if you find yourself in a situation where agreements were not reduced to writing, we can also assist with representing you in civil litigation. Contact Nelson, Krueger & Millenbach, LLC at 414-258-1644 to schedule a free initial consultation.

Understanding and Choosing Child Placement Arrangements

nelsonda Custody and Placement , , ,

Ensuring your child’s well-being remains your top priority through any difficult time. If you and your co-parent are separating, your children’s placement arrangement is a critical decision and demands careful consideration. There are many different placement arrangements for parents to choose from, and each comes with its own set of benefits and challenges. This article will help you understand the different arrangements that are available.

In Wisconsin, “placement” refers to where the child will live after the divorce, while “custody” refers to the ability to make major decisions about your child, such as medical decisions and decisions about religion and education. While there are two categories of placement, Primary Placement and Shared Placement, Shared Placement can have many different physical arrangements.

Primary Placement: In this arrangement, the child resides with one parent 75% of the time or more, while the other parent has  25% placement or less. Examples of a Primary Placement schedule would be as follows:

  • Every other weekend placement. This is a common arrangement when it is best for the child that one parent care for the child during the school or work week.
  • Reasonable Time, Reasonable Notice placement (RTRN). This arrangement often comes about when one parent is not able to engage in a regular placement schedule due to work commitments or other obligations. RTRN provides that parent to ask the parent with primary placement for time with the child when they are able, and that placement should be permitted by the primary parent unless there is a good reason such placement must be denied. RTRN placement may also be incorporated into existing placement, such as every other weekend placement, to give the non-primary parent the opportunity to have more time with their child.  However, this type of arrangement can only work when the parties can successfully communicate and work together.
  • Shared Placement: This arrangement allows the child to spend substantial time living with both parents. Any time greater than 25%, is considered to be shared placement. Shared placement requires a high level of cooperation and communication between parents to be effective. Shared physical placement is the most common placement arrangement because it allows the child to maintain a strong relationship with both parents.
  • Shared Placement Variations:
  • Week on/Week Off: Just as it sounds, parent have placement one week, and the other parent has the next week. This arrangement can be difficult for young children but can be beneficial when there is high conflict between the parents or for older children This is the least common type of placement schedule.
  • 2-2-3-3 or 2-2-5-5: Under this placement schedule, each parent has two days placement every week and then alternating weekends Friday through Sunday. The week days can either be fixed (Monday/Tuesday or Wednesday/Thursday every week) or they can alternate (Monday/Tuesday one week, Wednesday/Thursday the next week). It works well for school-aged children and can help with -parental conflict because exchanges generally occur at school.
  • 5/9 or 4/10 variations (based on a two-week rotating schedule). These are variations used when one parent’s work schedule or location makes it difficult to have equal shared placement. A parent might have one weeknight every week, and then every other weekend, either Friday through Monday morning – a 5/9 schedule – or Friday through Sunday – a 4/10 schedule. Because this is based on a parent’s availability, other variations are possible.
  • Nesting. A rarer but not uncommon arrangement is nesting, where the child remains in the family home, and the parents take turns living with the child there, according to one of the schedules above. This can provide stability and consistency for the child. However, it can be rather difficult and expensive to maintain because it requires parents to maintain two additional residences for when they are not in the family home.  This is generally only an option on a temporary basis while the divorce is pending.

Split Placement. Split placement is uncommon and can only occur when parents share multiple children. In split placement arrangements, each parent takes more placement of at least one or more of the children, but not all of the children. This arrangement is rare due to the preference of keeping siblings together. However, it might be suitable when it aligns with the children’s needs, for example where a child has a disability that one parent cannot or will not accommodate.

Another form of Placement is Supervised Placement. Sometimes a parent has engaged in behavior, for example, substance abuse, which has resulted in safety concerns for the child. In such cases, a parent may be required to spend time with their children in a supervised setting. The supervision can be provided by an agreed neutral, such as a grandparent, or can be provided by a professional in a setting designed for such visits. Generally, supervised placement is usually meant to be a temporary arrangement while a parent fulfills requirements to demonstrate their fitness.

Final Thoughts on placement. Every family is unique, and the choice of placement arrangements should be tailored to fit your family as well as possible. When parents work collaboratively, they can maximize their time with their children and, hopefully, their children’s well-being. When making these decisions becomes difficult, the guidance of a seasoned family law professional can help navigate these challenging decisions. At Nelson, Krueger, & Millenbach, our goal is to help you ensure that the chosen arrangement fosters a stable, loving, and supportive environment conducive to your child’s growth and happiness.

How Long Does A Divorce Take In Wisconsin?

nelsonda General Divorce, Property Division , , , , ,

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt recently announced that their divorce has finally concluded after 8 years. Is this typical? In Wisconsin, how long will your divorce take?


It would be virtually impossible in Wisconsin for a divorce to last 8 years, even with complicated issues as described in the Jolie-Pitt matter. The Wisconsin courts keep a close eye on how long a divorce has been pending and typically have a goal of completing a divorce in a year. Many judges will keep track of divorces that have been pending for a long time and will push the case towards paid mediation or a final trial if it has been pending for over a year.


Depending on the county, on average, a Wisconsin divorce takes less than one year to complete. Certain counties with a high volume of cases may have limited court calendar availability, meaning that you may have up to 4 months between one divorce hearing and the next. If your case has been stagnant for a while, meaning that the parties are not moving towards resolution or not cooperating with one another, the Court will set a final trial date to give the case finality, and to promote agreements. Divorces are hard, and some parties do not want to face the reality of a marriage coming to an end. Pushing a case to a final trial can help parties come to an agreement, since they know they have an end date on their marriage.


Of course, every divorce is fact specific, and some complex divorces may take longer to complete in Wisconsin. In Angelina and Brad’s case, they were only married for two years. Typically, short term divorces are quicker and easier, since assets from a short-term marriage are easier to divide. However, in Angelina and Brad’s case, they faced a multitude of complex issues: custody disputes, dividing their French vineyard, valuing international assets, and judges being substituted. Their property, Chateau Miraval, was purchased for 25 million euros in 2008, and was a main point of contention in this divorce. International assets complicate divorces due to time zone changes, language barriers, converting forms of currency, interpreting property valuations, and determining how to retitle property based on each country’s specific laws.


Further, there were significant allegations about Brad’s potential substance abuse and treatment of the children, resulting in a complicated path to a final placement schedule. The parties reached a temporary custody agreement in 2018 which later fell apart. In 2021, after three years of litigating custody and placement, Brad was granted joint custody.


Interestingly, the Court declared that the couple were officially separated in 2019, but did not finalize the divorce on that date. In Wisconsin, you are not legally separated until the final date of divorce or date of legal separation, where all issues need to be decided.


While Angelina and Brad’s divorce took 8 years, you do not have to worry about that being the case in Wisconsin. Even the most complicated divorces can be resolved in far less time here.


Have any questions or need help in your pending divorce? Give Nelson, Krueger & Millenbach a call at (414) 258-1644 to set up a free consultation.

Effective Co-Parent Communication After Divorce

nelsonda Custody and Placement , , , , ,

When parents divorce or break up, communication can be a challenge. But when you have children together, you cannot just choose to ignore your co-parent, no matter how difficult the situation may be. Your ability to continue to communicate effectively with your co-parent will affect your children for good or for ill. Fortunately, you can take steps to make co-parent communication easier and more effective.

If you are on friendly terms with your co-parent, you will likely continue to communicate in the ways you do with other friends and family members – via phone, text, and email. If the relationship with your co-parent is difficult, or if you are prevented from communicating with your co-parent because of a domestic injunction, you will likely communicate with your co-parent with a dedicated phone application. These applications support text, videos, and calendars. They can provide a method for submitting receipts or otherwise tracking shared expenses.


In Wisconsin, the most commonly used app is Our Family Wizard, or OFW, for short. You can give your attorney access to view your OFW communications and the court can view your OFW account on its dashboard. This makes it easier for the court and other professionals involved to understand the problems that co-parents are experiencing. It also provides a measure of accountability to parents, who know that their communications may be viewed by attorneys, judges and guardians ad litem.


No matter what method you chose for communication, make sure you have a communication strategy so that you can prevent or diffuse difficult situations. One great method, developed by Bill Eddy, is call the BIFF method. BIFF stands for Brief, Informative, Friendly, and Firm. Here’s how each component works:

  1. Brief: Keep your response short and to the point. Avoid lengthy explanations or details that could open up more areas for disagreement. This minimizes opportunities for further conflict.
  2. Informative: Include relevant information only. Provide factual content that addresses the primary issue without emotional or judgmental language. Stick to clear information that helps clarify or resolve the matter.
  3. Friendly: Maintain a friendly tone, even if the situation is tense. This helps to defuse hostility and can make the recipient more receptive to your message. A friendly approach can reduce defensiveness.
  4. Firm: Be clear and firm about your message. Avoid giving in to unreasonable demands or making overly conciliatory statements. Respectfully assert your position or boundary without being aggressive.

These principles can help you craft communications that defuse conflict and convey necessary information in a way that minimizes escalation. And that is one of the most valuable things you can do for yourself and for your children.